Being judgmental is an essential survival trait to our species. We need to distinguish between good and bad; right and wrong people, and those who can or cannot qualify as our friends, partners, etc. It's one of those things we've been hardwired to do. However, we have taken the business of judgment too far. We secretly judge friends, acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, random passengers in the metro, people in the mall, and what not. Despite the warnings of philosophers, religious leaders and psychologists to refrain from judging, it still continues to be an active occupation of most people. Judging has also become a bonding activity, as everyone loves a little bit of gossip. When you talk about someone else, most people will gladly join in.
However, we must understand that there is a difference between good judgment and bad judgment. Bad judgments are meant to feed our own personal ego and put others down,
1. You wouldn’t tolerate the same behavior or characteristic in yourself.
traits that I will not tolerate within myself, therefore I do not tolerate them in others.
*and how to benefit from your judgment
When you use your judgment of others as a mirror to show you the workings of your own mind, every person’s reflection can become a valuable gift, making each person you encounter a teacher and a blessing.
* how to stop judging people
Remember how it feels. Remember how it feels to be judged
Focus on your own life. , focus on yourself. Don't worry about what other people are doing/wearing/etc. Think about your own life. Focus on what you want and go after it
Look for the positive. Judgments are negative. There is almost always something positive you can find in someone or something. look for something nice to say. And, of course, if you can't find something nice to say, don't say anything at all.
Think about what you thinking about.: paying more attention to my thoughts and do my best to push them in a positive direction.
*how to deal with judgment
*why we should'ni judge other by their looks
When you judge, you restrict your brain from seeing another side to the person. And that way, you restrict your thinking to a pigeonhole. Keeping an open mind about people is important; otherwise there is no point of an education.
2. You Start Finding Faults In Everyone: Judging quickly moves on to more intimate areas of your life. You start judging your close ones; friends, family members, partner, etc. You fail to appreciate them and start getting dissatisfied with them. You become critical of even those who matter to you, and that is not the recipe to happy relationships, trust us!
Judging Becomes A Habit : If you judge people, sooner or later it becomes a habit, and you start judging everyone around you for the tiniest of things. You judge their clothing, actions, mannerisms, eloquence, success, ambition, values, everything. And you might dismiss even the best of people through these microscopic judgments.
4. You Are Viewed Negatively By People
Hurt other people. This might not always happen. If the person never finds out what you said, you're in the clear, right? Not necessarily. Things have a way of coming back and hurting people in unexpected ways. Think about what you say. Would you say that to his/her face? If not, it's probably best left unsaid (and un-thought!).
Make you feel worse about you. When you judge others (or, at least, when I do), you feel bad afterward. You don't feel good about yourself. You might get a tiny rush from the judgments, but, ultimately, you feel guilty. You think you're a bad person for casting such harsh judgments on others. You bring yourself down when you bring others down.
Perpetuate stereotypes. The more judgments out there in the world, the more stereotypes get formed and people are trying to live up to (or avoid) the ideas of what they are "supposed" to be. Whether stereotypes are based on race, gender, spirituality, ethnicity, appearance, or any other attribute, they are bad news. They force people (including you!) to feel as if there are standards they must meet instead of living a free, happy life. Don't be a part of perpetuating stereotypes with your own judgments.
Put negativity into the world. No matter what you way you rationalize your judgments, they are not bringing anything good into the world. They bring others down. They bring you down. They make the world a more unhappy place. Can you imagine if we were all accepting and loving of one another? Can you imagine what the world would be like if we tried to understand other people rather than judging them?
I judge others when I could very well be in their shoes. And, worst of all, I feel bad about it after. When I judge someone, I don't feel good about myself -- not even for a second. I feel bad. I feel sad. I don't want to be judged and I've always believed in the idea of treating others how I want to be treated
So, what is the difference between judgment and evaluation?
Evaluations are positive. Judgments are negative. Evaluations help you decide what you want more of in your life and create a sense of connection. Judgments can create confusion and separate you from others. Evaluations are expansive in nature; judgments are constrictive. Evaluations give you freedom of choice; judgments limit your behavior and the behavior of others. Evaluations merely state what “is” in a neutral, objective manner. Judgments indicate an opinionated, subjective value. Evaluations can be seen as a mental or a scientific approach,while judgments are emotional in nature and often suggest a moral, self-righteous approach.